Most girls are relentlessly told that we will be treated how we demand to be treated. If we want respect, we must respect ourselves.
This does three things. Firstly, it gets men off the hook for being held accountable for how they treat women. And secondly, it makes women feel that the mistreatment and sometimes outright violence they face due to their gender is primarily their fault. And thirdly, it positions women to be unable to speak out against sexism because we are made to believe any sexism we experience would not have happened if we had done something differently.
I cannot demand a man to respect me. No more than I can demand that anybody do anything. I can ask men to be nice to me. But chances are if I even have to ask he does not care to be nice. I can express displeasure when I’m not being respected. But that doesn’t solve the issue that I was disrespected in the first place.
I can choose to not deal with a man once he proves to be disrespectful and/or sexist. But even that does not solve the initial problem of the fact that I had to experience being disrespected in the first place.
As a young girl, I wish that instead of being told that I needed to demand respect from men that I had been told that when I am not respected by men that it’s his fault and not mine. But that would require that we quit having numerous arbitrary standards for what it means to be a “respectable” woman. It would mean that I am not judged as deserving violence based on how I speak, what I wear, what I do, and who I am.
So I had this whole plan where I was going to stop at the gym on my way home from work, and then go home and make dinner with the random groceries we have left. But before I left work I realized I forgot my tennis shoes at home, so now I’m sitting at home tracking my Pizza Luce order.
“We are torn between nostalgia for the familiar and an urge for the foreign and strange. As often as not, we are homesick most for the places we have never known.”—Carson Mccullers (via whatalovelythought)
“I could hear my heart beating. I could hear everyone’s heart. I could hear the human noise we sat there making, not one of us moving, not even when the room went dark.”—Raymond Carver, What We Talk About When We Talk About Love (via tiger-milk)
And then on another note this season of Community has been so great it’s like season 4 is just some crazy dream I had. I miss Troy but not as much as I though I would. Plus I ship Jeff and Britta so hard, I’m having so many community feels right now lol. I remember watching the premiere and I have such a weird sense of pride for this show right now.
Can I just say that Parks and Recreation is one of my all time favorite shows but this season has been so flat and I really just want them to end it on a high note. I kept thinking the new job offer would be a really good segue into the show ending. Idk am I the only one who feels this way?
I just finished ‘The Ocean at the End of the Lane’ by Neil Gaiman and I liked it a lot. Basically though I just want Studio Ghibli to make it into a movie. No one else is allowed to touch it. Anyone else would mess it up.
Hi! Huge fan of your blog. Can I still call myself a Minnesotan if I haven't yet experienced the Nook? I keep meaning to get there and somehow I never make it. Plus, bowling with old school scoring is a no-brainer.
We’ve been fans of each other for a long time!
Look…the Nook is more of a St. Paul thing. Go to Dusty’s in NE MPLS and have a Dago sandwich.